Dad and Katey and I are already celebrating two birthdays each, and while I don't really look at the blog much beyond seeing if anyone commented on my posts, I do see that the folks who change at this time of year don't exactly seem happy about it, so maybe last night's thing was in kind of bad taste?
The really weird thing is that it was Dad's idea. I don't think he's really become happier to be Emilia in the last couple months, even now that she's not scared of what's between her legs, but she really wants me and Katey to be reassured that she's not mad at us for wanting to stay like this, so I think she kid of overdoes it sometimes.
Sometimes I think she's kind of screwing with us. Like, she apparently likes the beach now? I mean, she says she liked going to the beach back when she was a teenager and loved spring break in college - she was in a fraternity! - but do you suddenly just wake up and decide you like walking around in a bikini, even when it's ninety degrees out? Especially since I don't think that she's going to Coney Island or Fort Tilden or other places with friends from work or book club or the like - just me and Katey, and sometimes Omar, and I don't know that asking us to put lotion on her back is meant to make us feel uncomfortable because the girl who just undid the back of her top is our dad, but...
(Also: I never thought of New York as a place with beaches, but then again, it is all on islands except the Bronx)
I do kind of appreciate that she did this; I was kind of nervous about being on display at the beach even if I don't have any problem with workout clothes that just cover what's necessary and sexy outfits generally. but apparently I'm okay if it's just a way to hang out with my family and friends, get in the water, get some sun (with appropriately slathered on sunblock, because apparently Dad doesn't sunburn despite being a natural blonde while I sure do) and not, like "here's my whole ass, come and get it!"
Last night, though, was kind of crazy; Dad had bought us matching outfits, like whole matching outfits with shoes and handbags, brought us to the sort of club that was usually not her thing, and did a champagne toast before hitting the dance floor. We mostly danced with each other, but she didn't often say no when a guy bought her a drink or asked her to dance. Around 1am, she was starting to stumble in her heels and didn't really look like she was having fun any more, so we loaded ourselves into a cab. She insisted on getting an ice cream cake saying "Happy Inn-iversary" on it out of the freezer and making sure we each got a piece before going to bed.
She was really hung over this morning, and Katey and I told her she didn't have to do stuff like that or pretend she was really into taking up how the original Emilia was apparently kind of a party girl, and she swore up and down that she just wanted to mark the occasion and that she wasn't doing anything she didn't want to do. "I'm an adult woman who used to be an adult man, and I know what i'm doing," she says.
I didn't believe her this morning, but now I'm kind of wondering after writing this if the reason this all seems in bad taste is that celebrating one year doesn't just mean celebrating how Katey and I have done well as grown-up women, but also that Dad is kind of no longer Dad, that he's becoming someone different that likes guys and treats us like friends or sisters rather than her kids and that maybe we won't be able to turn to her to know what we should be doing. Katey doesn't seem too worried about it, and neither does Dad, so maybe it's just me.
-Rusty/Monica
1 comment:
I donn’t think it’s wrong to feel a bit weirded out about it. Part of growing up involved your relationship with your parent changing from them being your guardian to you both being adults, and that’s always a bit of a weird time in normal life. For you guys, though, you not only jumped ahead, what was it, six years or so of life experience (?), but your dad got brought down to your guy’s age and experience as far as the world is concerned. So you’re getting all that “well your an adult now” part of growing up alongside a dad who is probably just as uncertain as you are about what to do cause they sure as heck didn’t grow up a girl!
And per your dad’s last post, I think they’re trying to manage it by reframing your guy’s relationship as a sort of sisterhood cause that’s really about what your situation is gonna allow. From the outside it reads like maybe she’s not as sure about it either but is trying to keep up with Katey who’s doing what a lot of Inn people do once they decide to take on a new life and just fully dive in.
So, you know, might be worth having a talk with your dad about it.
Post a Comment