Jonah/Krystle: T Minus Eight Days

I'm getting married next week.  To a man.  It's absolutely insane, when you think about it. 

On the other hand, it's crazy how not insane it is.  I thought that I would be back to posting here weekly with all sorts of "all these weird girl things around the wedding are crazy and I haven't felt more like I shouldn't be here since I pushed a baby out of my body" rants, but it hadn't worked out that way.  Probably not because I've become a woman all the way down to whatever deep, feminine part of the brain yearns for pretty dresses and professions of undying love, but because we appear to have hired a pretty good wedding planner.  She knows her job and neither Gabe nor I have much on the way of bridezilla (or groomzilla) tendencies.  She'd give us a list of options, we'd look them up on Yelp, and if we didn't immediately agree, and one of us had a reason to care - like, say, better vegan options for Gabe's cousin - it seldom ran up against issues for the other.  Heck, I even came to kind of enjoy the dress fittings.  Sure, some of it was boring enough that I occasionally wished they had ESPN on like they do at Gabe's barber shop (or even Lifetime), but having a dedicated specialist make sure I'm the most beautiful I can be is kind of nice, especially if you grew up a guy and can be uncertain about this topic rather than a girl who has been obsessing over her wedding being perfect since she was a 4-year-old flower girl. 

I guess what I'm saying, Inn girls, is to outsource this stuff whenever you can! 

Even if I was more lost at sea amid all the preparations, though, I probably wouldn't have had time to write about it.  It seems like every time I take a couple days of time off, I've got to train some assistant manager to handle all of the stuff that I typically do, Moira decided she wants to do youth basketball, and Gabe has been all over, asking how he can help with everything and extra amorous with the wedding approaching, which is great, but doesn't give me a lot of alone time.  Maybe that's for the best - married couples are gonna be up in each other's business - but I am already kind of enjoying this long weekend where he's in New York with his friends for the bachelor party. 

My biggest hassle right now is the bachelorette party.  I know, it's usually the Maid or Matron of Honor's job, but when considering the choice between Boston, Atlanta, and New Orleans for any sort of party, let alone one for an ethnically mixed group, NOLA was the clear winner.  Atlanta may be very nice, but none of us really know the place, and I can at least bike by places Karla finds here to scope them out. 

Yes, Karla is Matron of Honor, in part because I wasn't sure Jordan or Original Moira would be able to make it and I didn't want to do "instead of your sister?" stuff.  We've been getting along well lately, at least, although I'm kind of alarmed by how sparsely populated my side of the church will be compared to Gabe's.  Shouldn't I have more friends?  I'm a nice person!  But, then, I'm also a technically-still-single mom who has moved a couple of times.  I've got coworkers and maintain good relations with Moira's friends' parents, and they'd go to my wedding if it was local, but not to Atlanta.  Gabe's got a bunch of friends from high school and college coming, but apparently a lot of Krystle's high school friends are holding grudges and mine are white folks five years younger than the age on my new passport who would be difficult to explain.  I sent save-the-dates to them all anyway, figuring we could say they were friends of Jonah's (true!) that were more help when I was pregnant and a new mom than my baby daddy (an exceptionally low bar!), but even the ones who texted me back saying they were excited and happy for me (mostly girls) had long put even thinking about the cursed Inn behind them.  Maybe being married will lead to couple friendships, or I'll just stop worrying about it again once this isn't staring me in the face any more.

Of course, the one person who didn't RSVP at all is the one that's been the central figure in my most frequent nightmare of late.  That'd be Joseph, my roommate at the Inn who got changed into Krystle's boyfriend Lamont and wound up serving the rest of his sentence.  Of you remember, he got really upset when I showed up dressed nice because I figured he might enjoy a night out with a pretty girl when he was released, and really freaked out when I discovered I was pregnant.  In my nightmare, the wedding is going well, until he bursts in at the "should anyone have any reason" moment, announces that I'm really a man, and because it's a life-changing moment, everyone believes him, and it turns out that Gabe, his while family, Moira, and everyone is way more homophobic than I thought and turn on me.  I wake up on a cold sweat and tell Gabe I don't remember my dreams. 

But I do, every one of them.  There are a ton where we for some reason book the Inn (or someplace similarly cursed) for it honeymoon and most of the time I wake up as my old self and he's Krystle, or some other woman, and that can go either way but is usually kind of fun, but one time I woke up as Mackenzie and he was this giant roided-up version of himself with the intention of punishing me for stealing Krystle's life and lying to him, and I'm glad I woke up before the worst.  One time it was months later, and he was still a man, but I somehow got him pregnant on the honeymoon! 

I'm not reading anything into it, other than the Inn giving my subconscious more to work with when anybody would be having stress dreams.  It's gonna be great!

But, yeah, even with a good planner, I'm really expecting after the wedding to be much better than these weeks before it.

- Jonah/Krystle

Judith/Tyler: Strange dreams

Ugh. I had a pretty important meeting that I nearly slept through this morning... a consequence of my new responsibilities at work. I'm supposed to be arranging this 30th Anniversary Party for like 200 people (it's pretty small potatoes considering the company routinely does 1000+, but considering I'm a novice, as is Judith, 200 is a good place to start.)

I don't always remember my dreams, but occasionally I have one that is vivid and leaves me feeling freaked. First of all, in any one of my dreams I could be in any of the bodies I've inhabited over the years, or a combination. But in this one I was Judith. I was on top of a very tall building. There's a shadowy figure waving to me from the next building over. I don't know who it was, but I felt very compelled... I had to get to them. The only way over was a tightrope, so I start walking it... in heels. Of course I lose my balance and land, crotch-first, on the rope, and I have to keep my legs clamped on it to scootch forward, but I never quite make it. I could feel my hands gripping the rope, shaking, the wind blowing my hair... the sun was coming up and by the time it was daylight it was... well, daylight, and I woke up, almost late for my meeting.

I have been in a daze all morning. Not that I necessarily think it means anything, but it just left me feeling... strange, afraid, sad, haunted. After the meeting, which I was barely mentally present for, I called and left a message on Kitty's voice mail at work, saying I just wanted to talk, which I realize was a mistake because it makes me seem a bit sad and pathetic, and like some kind of emergency happened.

I dunno. It's a weird thing to bring up in a post, but I needed to get it out there.

-Ty/Jude

PS I just realized in the first draft of this post, I put Judith's name first instead of mine. Leaving it that way, but please chalk it up to disorientation and nothing else. I'm still me, even if what it means to be me has changed.

Greg/Priya: Slutty Halloween and Priya Dreams

So its been something ridiculous like over a month since I last posted to this blog, hopefully nobody got TOO worried about me. The thing is, I havent really had much to worry about. Im apparently a good teacher, since I got thru my first round of parent teacher conferences without any of the parents thinking that I was really some guy pretending to be a Kindergarten teacher. Although parent teacher conferences for Kindergarten are kinda weird, since I had to use all sorts of eduational terminology because im basically evaluating these kids' learning abilities at a young age. Yeesh, when I type it like that it makes it sound a lot more serious than i take it.



Anyway, Im a good teacher and Ive adapted to the life of one a such. Ive also been a lot more social than I was originally, altho when you consider I was a total hermitress thats not saying much. Ive actually been spending a lot of time with Phil and Mike on the weekends. Just hanging ot and watching football with them.



To clear up a question that was posted on the comments section of my last post: Phil and Mike are not gay. I called Priya and asked what the situation was and she told me that Phil was enganged and Mike and her were just friends and both were definitly on her DNF list, (which she typed up and emailed to me just in case).



Ive also been doing social things with Amber. Not just social obligation stuff, but like really truly interested in doing best friend stuff. The other day I went to Target with her to help her return a shirt. Its not something that I had to do with her but I miss her so much that any chance I can get to be around her I take, even it is just coffee and girl talk.



Of course this leads me to last week and what was probably considered a social obligation. It was halloween and as any red blooded american knows any woman between the ages of 18-35 uses this night as an excuse to dress slutty. I had thought that I, being an example for young children, would not have to dress in such a way because it wouldnt be allowed. I was wrong. Halloween was on a Saturday and I was in for a party with a whole bunch of mine and Ambers friends. (we did have a halloween celebration at the school on Friday. I wore cat ears)



So on Saturday morning, just as I got back from my bike ride and getting ready to watch football, I get a text from Amber saying she had the costumes asking what time I was going over there to get ready for the party. This perplexed me because I have been Priya Patel for almost 4 months now, and I never once bought a halloween costume. Apparently she and Amber had planeed this MONTHS ago (which is apparently something girls do for halloween)

So when I arrived at my old place, the love of my life answered the door dressed like a playboy bunny. Not like nude model, but like a waitress from the old playboy clubs that were open in the 60s. It consisted fo someting that looked like a black one piece swimsuit (with a tail on the butt), fishnet stockings, high heels, and bunny ears. I dont know which was worse, the fact that I had no physical reaction this sight, or that there was a matching outfit inside in my size. And when I say in my size, I mean Priyas size when they bought, and even though my biking and miller lite drinking have resulted in weight loss (4 pounds, yay me), it was a tight squeeze. I didnt look gross or anything, but I definitly filled it out and you could see all my curves. (again, no pics)

So after intensive hair and makeup prepping we were ready to head out. Dee had come home by then and got into her "costume". Apparently Dee was a 1960s ad executive, from some show called Mad Men which I had never seen but it was apparently Dee's favorite show. HER costume consisted of a suit, a hat, some cigarettes (which she didnt light), and a glass of brown liquor. I could not see any of her curves :-/

The party was at our friend Jake's house. Jake is a friend of mine from college and he is good friends with me and Amber, as were most of the people at the party. Most of the non familial guest list to our wedding was in attendance.

This made things difficult for me, becuase while i knew everyone there, not all of them there knew me, at least not in my current form. Some of them knew Priya and some of them didnt. The trouble came about when I said hi to my friend Jerry and he had no idea who I was. I was able to make up a story about overhearing Greg say hi to him. What i couldnt explain away was why I started talking to him. For most guys when a pretty girl talks to him at a party, he automatically things this girl is interested in him and begins to be interested himself. This caused Jerry to flirt with me ALL NIGHT. Now, Jerry is a nice guy and my friend, but Im still not really very comfortable being flirted with yet. Fortuneatly he didnt ask for my number at the end of the night and i stayed pretty sober so as not to do anything stupid. All in all it wasnt bad except for having people I know check me out all night when they thought I wasnt looking.


But that experience wasnt what prompted me to blog. That occured last thursday night when I had the strangest dream. In my dream I was drivng for a very long time until I got to Memphis where I met Amber for ribs. The premise wasnt the strangest thing about it though, the strangest part was after I woke up the next day and realized that during my dream I was Priya. Not Greg.

I dont know much about physiology or psychology but all I know is that when I first started looking like Priya, my brain was still very much Greg and my dreams reflected that. Now, there all Priya. And since you dont remember all your dreams its impossible for me to pinpoint when exactly this started. Has my brain subconsciously adjusted to the fact that I know look like this and now uses this form as my self image? What about all the other posters, past and present, Do/Did you dream in your new body or your original one?

Leave comments or mention in your next entry please.

-Greg (Still)