I guess blogging is like dieting - once you stop, it takes such great effort to get back into it again. Speaking of which, I think I need to go on a diet - these clothes keep feeling like they're getting tighter every day.
Last week was a whirlwind of activity. My sister decided to part with her kids for the week, so they can visit the farm. On top of all my chores around the farm, I ended-up with a fair amount of babysitting too. I'm not complaining though - I love them dearly, and keeping busy entertaining a 6 and 10 year-old kept my mind off of my own problems, for the most part.
Wednesday, one of my uncles stopped by on his way back from visiting his son last week as well. That was an event - It was pretty short notice, but we were able to get a decent supper put together for a handful of other family members who were available to stop by and visit. In all, we had nearly 20 bodies to feed - I think we did well for the short notice. Thankfully, we had only to worry about the main course, the sides and desserts were brought by some of our guests.
I can tell you that I don't have any of Kat's cooking skills. My gravy-making skills are still a bit lumpy. On the other hand, I think I've just about got the chicken-frying down.
My cousin Anna pulled me to the side during the night, she was a bit concerned that I... that Kat, hadn't let her know she was back. Anna's 25, and is a bit of a home body - but she's apparently been looking forward to going "clubbing" with recently legal-to-drink Kat. I feigned an enthusiastic approval for a Saturday night expedition, secretly dreading the event all the while.
Being Kat has felt a bit awkward ever since I woke up this way, but trying to figure out what I should wear and how I should look to go clubbing was likely the most confusing and trying thing I've faced since the day after I got home. I couldn't get Jadyn to answer her phone, and Kat's cell seemed to be turned off. I finally just hoped for the best and tried to look nice. I think it took an hour of applying and removing make-up before I got a look I was fairly happy with.
I guess I must have done okay, Anna never mentioned anything... and I felt like some piece of meat in the middle of a pack of wolves that my stomach turned. It took every fiber of my being to not just run out of the bar and lock myself in my room. I had to keep telling myself that this was all normal... that, for now, I looked like an attractive young woman... that this was something that I'd wanted, or at least wondered about for so many years... that every woman probably has to deal with the same thing, and that they all survived. I'm not sure that my attempts to bolster my own confidence were as successful as the alcohol. Anna (and probably every guy in the bar too), kept a cold beer in front of me... Or so I'm told. I don't remember much after the first couple shots of Tequila.
I find it interesting that I was drinking beer most of the night though - it's not something that I've been able to drink in the past... back when I was myself.
One thing that I remember from Saturday night is one of my friends... Trip's friend, Mike, 'pawing' me all night long. I know my initial reaction was a bit muted from what I'd like to have done - but not wanting to destroy Kat's social life, I just tried my best not to draw any attention to his random touches. Although I blame much on the alcohol - I still find it a bit disturbing that after awhile, I'm pretty sure that I was actually starting to enjoy being held and touched by him... and I really want to forget about the kiss. Don't get me wrong, my buddy Mike is a good guy for the most part, but he is an absolute dog when it comes to the way he treats women. I'd have knocked him out had I ever caught him doing to Kat what he did to me Saturday - and it scares me that I had no such thoughts Saturday night. Thank God Anna got me home before I did... well, I don't know... something completely stupid.
I'm going to claim that these memories had more to do with my being sick Sunday morning than the alcohol. I guess this was my first real hangover - I have NEVER felt as ill and wanting-to-die as I did yesterday morning. I guess this body just doesn't deal with alcohol like my old one did.
Today is going to be a long day... I swear, I think I still have a hangover.