Even though I knew there would be no transformation last night, I found it hard to sleep. Part of my deep down kept expecting something awful to happen in the middle of the night. This old building has kind of a haunted feel to it... and knowing what I know doesn't help when it creaks and groans in the night. I keep jumping at shadows.
In the daylight, I saw there were plenty more cars here than people, but I also noticed a few new faces just settling in. The inn's capacity is about 13, so it needs that many to transform us, if what I believe I know is true. So a few more randoms doesn't really indicate the change is imminent, so I guess it's more restless nights. In case you're wondering, there are a few different configurations of rooms... some with two twin beds, some with a double, some with one twin. Some rooms adjoin.
Soft rains made Bry and I stay in most of the day, trying to keep ourselves entertained. It was dreadful. This really isn't beach weather, so we stayed inside. Napping. At least I was napping. I couldn't tell you what Bryan was doing but when I woke up she definitely seemed to be up to something. Polite not to speculate.
I spent a fair bit of time this afternoon just... staring at my reflection, as I have a habit of doing. If I were writing a fiction about people who get transformed, I'd probably rely a lot on mirror references. I'm not going to have this face much longer, I'm not going to be this woman, or any woman. I feel as though I should make the most of my time remaining, but I have absolutely no idea what that would actually entail.
I feel like I should be trying to sum up this whole experience, what it's taught me about the world and myself, but I guess I'm going through a bit of writer's block... I keep trying to engage Bry in conversation about it but she's not interested. Maybe she'll warm up a bit after the change, if it happens, or perhaps before then.
George and Jan invited us to dinner for tomorrow night so I believe I'll have more to say about them then.
Sorry for the less-than-exciting post.
-Todd/Anne-Marie
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