And before anyone asks in the comments, I did have some fun last night. Benny not only had the biggest dick I've ever seen in person (out of, admittedly, about three), but he knew what to do with it and everything else like he'd been practicing since the age of fifteen just like he claimed. I learned stuff last night, let me tell you!
But the most important thing I learned was that at least some people on the blog are for real. I was awake when it happened - I'd been feeling the buzz that some people who stayed here talked about all night, but just figured it was beer-buzz or general arousal, so when Benny finally tapped out at quarter past one, I was still awake, spending some time texting Gretch to compare notes and screwing around online. As soon as it started, I remembered how Penny Lincoln described it as like reverse liposuction all over, and while I've never had the frontwards version, that was what it felt like. I thought that maybe I was really super drunk or that maybe Benny had hit me with something stronger, but then I started feeling my panties and sleeping shorts starting to dig into my hips, and I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack as I pull them down and see some stuff that really should be inside pushing out, although I guess that once that's happening, they're really not the same things they were before.
So, I was definitely becoming a dude. I sort of figured that's what my "assignment" or "challenge" would be from the luggage, but which one? From the way my skin was darkening, though, it was pretty clear: I was turning into Ravi Kapoor. Which meant that the super-hot guy I'd been with...
Yep. Jordan Chang, unless there was another kind of heavy Asian-American dude in the building two weeks ago.
I shook him awake, and while he had a moment of freaking out because the guy leaning over the bed wasn't wearing pants of any sort, seeing the distinct lack of six-pack abs on his body was probably worse. He didn't really believe that there was a curse until I dragged him into the bathroom - I'm a little stronger now than he was heavier, so it took some effort, but not as much as it would have - and he saw his new face with the eyes and the half-grown facial hair (and I must admit, my own mustache seemed as weird as the penis).
Accusations were made, since I seemed to know what was going on. I told him about the blog, but how I'd naturally thought it was a fiction/game. He seemed to buy my apology, though asked me to go put some pants on. I did, while he kept cupping his gut and wondering why there were no clothes for him. I pulled up Jordan's blog entry on the subject, and he shrugged it off, saying he got it, but if Deirdre was so petite, what did Jordan think he was going to do with his underwear? Not that Benny was really thrilled at the prospect of wearing someone else's shorts, even if his boxers were now a different sort of tight fit.
We opted against waking everybody up, although we did hang out in the lobby until other people started waking up. Either I was the de facto expert this late in the summer - I figure that the people trying to get their body back must taper off from almost all of the Inn in May to just a few by mid-July - or nobody else wanted to speak up. Benny was a sweetheart, stepping up to defend me even though I'm apparently just as much of a man as he is right now. After everyone seemed more or less settled, we hit an ATM with Ravi's card and I gave him some money to go get a change of clothes or two. It'll be beach stuff, because that's what the shops in OOB sell, but I take it that's what he wears most of the time anyway, even when he's not trying to pick up 18-year-old tourist girls.
Gretchen hasn't shown up at the Inn yet - she went home with Benny's roommate - and I'm glad she didn't get caught up in this. I've been half-writing texts to her all morning, trying to figure out what to say or come up with a story, but this may just be impossible to explain. I hope she doesn't freak out about me "disappearing" too much.
Well, time to give the letter another read and see just what sort of mess I'll be heading into.